Growing plants and Growing UP

Mom has a green thumb--greener than mine, but I share the same love of plants. For Mother's Day I sent her 4 Topsy Turvy gardens (yes-- I am a sucker for those darn tv advertisements that look so magical) Well the TT hanging gardens sat in the box at Round Valley and were never used. I looked at the barren porch of the Assisted Living Center and thought she needs those magical planters to brighten up her day.

So inspired by the lush rose gardens we saw the afternoon before at the Nampa Park across from Mom's childhood home, we set out to help mom plant some flowers, vegetables and herbs in her TT hanging gardens....

Mom had no idea at first what we were doing shoving tomato plants, basil and Rosemary into a green plastic container.

But after having her smell the herbs and put her hands in fresh dirt, a smile crossed her face. She happily put both hands into the dark rich soil and helped cover roots and anchor peppers and strawberries. It was a glimpse of the mom we knew. She was also delighted with the petunias we planted to help attract hummingbirds. We told her she needed to come everyday and water and check for vegetables so they could make a nice spaghetti sauce. (Hopefully the nurses, other patients and owners will help! They loved the idea but you never know if they will remember-- memories are short on non alzheimer's patients as well-- myself included)

A funny thing happened. Mom saw the scissors we used to open the dirt container. She kept hiding the scissors in her lap. She would say "I really need scissors. They won't let me have them....I need scissors to do things....." We kindly kept taking them from her. At one point I noticed that she had stood up and placed both her crocs over the scissors to hide them. Ilene did a smart thing -- she got a broom to sweep up the dirt we spilled. And to distract mom from the scissors, she handed mom the broom. Mom was delighted. It was like a new toy. And then before my misty eyes should appear was my old mother, I don't mean as in aged, I mean the mother I knew that loved a clean patio and would sweep whenever worries were on her mind.

Her coordination was good, she could wield the broom nimbly and if you looked past the purple sweats, which she never would have worn, Sheila had returned!
Ilene tucked one of the fallen petunias and put it behind mom's ear like she did when Mom went to BYU Hawaii.
How synchronous that it matched the flowers on her shirt.

And then as I watched some more, I realized it really was mom back from the past, because she wouldn't stop and sit with us anymore. She just kept working and sweeping and sweeping as if her life depended on it.
And I suddenly felt weighted down and sad and thought 'how we never grow to our potential.' We have this ability to have magical lives like the TT Hanging Gardens to produce great yields and defy gravity but it was just an illusion. It was a wish that could never come true.....

I thought about our biggest complaints growing up, that mom never had time to sit with us-- ever-- because she was always on the go with the dairy and farm and work as a Physical Therapist.... and the thought came to me "You girls got what you prayed for...." And I bristled thinking "how is her losing her memory getting what we prayed for?"

Heidi respectfully took the broom from mom, and we all went inside. Athlyn helped mom into a chair, and mom stayed put in the chair with all of us around her. Ilene began singing and Mom chimed in. We all started singing together.

Mom would have sat in the chair all day singing with us if we didn't have to leave and go and do a million things ourselves. Jenn pointed out the tragic irony, when we needed our mother she can't sit still for us, and when she can finally sit still for us we can't sit still for her. And then the magic worked on me...... a thought began taking root and growing before my eyes... I realized this "new mother" was not the exact thing we had prayed for but she was the mother who could now sit still and just be with us and love us unconditionally.

Be careful what you pray for--- you might just get a "answer" you didn't bargain for.... and maybe that is the magic afterall.

Merry Christmas

Christmas 1974

What got us started

Ryan and I were on a walk with the family the other day. In case you haven't been keeping up on our blog, we are two days in and plan to keep that up :) Paxton has been riding his bike while we walk. He is still in training wheels and Ryan and I both yelled at him "are you ready to take the training wheels off" He yelled back with a quick "NO" as he zoomed by.

Then we talked about how Gauge could start riding his bike if we had Paxton's training wheels to put on them (because we won't buy another pair!)

At that point Paxton jumped off his bike and leaned over for awhile. I whispered to Ryan that I thought he was filling his bike with gas.

It was at that moment that

Ryan started to tell me a story. He told it like it was occurring to him as he was saying it. Thinking back, small smile on his face while he remembered how it went. Then he told me, "ya know, I used to have a little trike. Mom told me that for a long time she was finding broken down spots in the driveway and she didn't know where they were coming from. After some investigation and being unable to figure out what was happening, she figured it out. Sheila told Ryan that she found him in the driveway one day, filling his trike with gasoline."

He would lean over next to it. Find the pretend gas tank and REALLY pour gas "into the tank" which resulted in holes...in the driveway. He told me that when she relayed the story to him she just laughed. She didn't get mad at him, she thought it was funny. He said that she thought it was a bit of a mind bend because that's when she realized how much her little boy was watching her. Ryan had been watching her put gas into the tractors and the lawn mower.

My mind wandered to Sheila's laugh... I am sure you can all hear it. I love her laugh.

I have not spent a lot of alone time with Sheila but I had one experience with her that I will never forget and I proceeded to tell it to Ryan.

Having never been alone with my mother in law that long I was a little nervous when I was the one to take her in my car on a trip we were on. Sheila jumped into the car and I thought "What do I say? What do we talk about?" I am not really good with small talk!!

So, I did what all nervous daughters in law would do, I turned on the radio. Then I realized that I had my Garth Brooks CD in and Ryan had told me that she loved Garth Brooks.

When I turned it on she just looked at me and smiled. She said, "Do you know the songs?" Yes I know the songs! So I turned it up and the two of us sang and harmonized at the top of our lungs to Garth Brooks all the way home.

When it was happening I thought...I will never forget this.

So when I relayed the story to Ryan that thought occurred to me again. How do I never forget this...and then the blog was born.

-Whitney

When You Came to California.......THREE TIMES!

Sheila you have been out to California to visit us three times! 5 years ago you came to see our first born Calvin right after his birth! It was a great visit. You stayed for about 1 week.

Christi loved having you around to share in the experience of being a new mother. You got to meet our dog Ammon for the first time.

You came to California again to be part of Ilene's wedding in 2008.

Morgan and Ilene were sealed in the Sacramento,

California Temple on October 10th, 2008.

The last time you came out was at the end of September when we had our third, our first girl Cosette! You were here for two weeks and we all had tons of fun.

You got to visit with Christi and Ilene. You went to see Ilene's work place and Morgan and Ilene's apartment.

You were there the day Cosette was born.

You played alot with Calvin and Oliver (pictured). They loved playing pirates with you in the back yard.

To Our Family

Hey Everyone

This blog is dedicated to Sheila. After hearing story after story about your lives I started to think that it would be a really great idea to document this history. Then it occurred to me that it might be an even better idea, to document it for Mom.

If any of you have seen 50 First dates, you remember that the main character only remembered each individual day. She had no short term memory. At the end of the show, to win her over Adam Sandler created a video for Drew Barrymore to see which basically updated her on where she was in life.

As Sheila loses her memories it is going to be harder for her to remember who she is and how many people are out there who love her.

My idea was that we could teach her about herself whenever she forgets.

I have also put links of her family's blogs on the side so that she can frequent them and see her children and her Grandchildren.

WHENEVER

you remember a fond memory of Mom, or you feel like posting a note to her or a picture, please do it here. Post pictures of your families or from your baby books.

I am hoping that one day we will be able to print it out for us, and we will all have a history of our Mother and Grandmother Sheila.

I hope you all find this to be a good idea. I absolutely love this family and I absolutely love Sheila.

-Whitney

Happy Birthday Mom!

Hey pretty lady- Thanks for all you have done for us. For all the mother-sacrifices you made. We all love you-- and pray you get what you wish for! Have a great day!